btvs appreciation week • day two - favourite pairing or friendship: spike & joyce
      ↪ "Joyce was the only one of the lot of you that I could stand."

(via foalpapers)

fuckyeahthespianpeacock:

saltheria:

yeffyaboyuice:

mythchief:

So there I was, ready to take a shower. I mean, I was dirty, a little greasy, a shower was not such a horrible idea. People take showers, amiright? Of course!
I get naked.
FULL naked.
REAL naked.
I’m talking the exact opposite reason why you ever went to your grandmother’s house.
No cookies. Blatant nudity.
That’s how folks take showers these days, right? Well, I pull back the curtain…
And there it was.
This…thing…sitting on the little soap/shower/pube shelf. Not a care in the world, like it’s been there for years. “What the heck is that?” I think to myself.
Now, what follows is the exact pattern of thought that took me from rational human being to Sloth in 3.4 seconds.
“Is that a Red Lobster cheesy biscuit? That’s a Red Lobster cheesy biscuit. OMG why would someone leave that unattended. Those things are so delicious. I’m gonna eat it. Man, I can’t wait to see whoever left it’s face when they come back to find that someone ate their cheesy biscuit. Ohhh boy.”
Then my brain sent a message to my arm that said, “Reach for that cheesy biscuit. WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR!?”
As you must already know, we are all contractually bound to make a dickload of mistakes throughout our lifetime. Some of those mistakes are so big that they forever hinder our world and warrant entire chapters in our children’s history books. However, most mistakes have the dubious providence of merely haunting one’s soul and festering amidst the subconscious for always and eternity.
This was, nearly, one of those.
I’m not sure what stopped me, be it cosmic or supernatural, but it gave my brain just enough time to ask itself some rather important questions regarding this little tub treasure. Questions like:
“WHO WOULD LEAVE A CHEESY BISCUIT IN MY SHOWER?!”
And inquiries such as:
“AND WHY WERE YOU GOING TO EAT IT, MORON?!”
Seriously, was I so hungry that I would wantonly disobey all the integral conditioning and survival imprinting my parents bestowed upon me like the ever important, “Um, don’t eat that biscuit retard, you don’t know where it’s been or whose it is and also you found it in the shower.” in order to satisfy something so benign as a munchie?
That, I’m sorry to say, was pretty much my reality.
An early morning introspective psychological evaluation of a sad, hungry, naked man who almost ate a bar of soap.

OMG ITS BACK

This needs to be published.

This is going in the monologue section and I’m not even sorry.

fuckyeahthespianpeacock:

saltheria:

yeffyaboyuice:

mythchief:

So there I was, ready to take a shower. I mean, I was dirty, a little greasy, a shower was not such a horrible idea. People take showers, amiright? Of course!

I get naked.

FULL naked.

REAL naked.

I’m talking the exact opposite reason why you ever went to your grandmother’s house.

No cookies. Blatant nudity.

That’s how folks take showers these days, right? Well, I pull back the curtain…

And there it was.

This…thing…sitting on the little soap/shower/pube shelf. Not a care in the world, like it’s been there for years. “What the heck is that?” I think to myself.

Now, what follows is the exact pattern of thought that took me from rational human being to Sloth in 3.4 seconds.

“Is that a Red Lobster cheesy biscuit? That’s a Red Lobster cheesy biscuit. OMG why would someone leave that unattended. Those things are so delicious. I’m gonna eat it. Man, I can’t wait to see whoever left it’s face when they come back to find that someone ate their cheesy biscuit. Ohhh boy.”

Then my brain sent a message to my arm that said, “Reach for that cheesy biscuit. WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR!?”

As you must already know, we are all contractually bound to make a dickload of mistakes throughout our lifetime. Some of those mistakes are so big that they forever hinder our world and warrant entire chapters in our children’s history books. However, most mistakes have the dubious providence of merely haunting one’s soul and festering amidst the subconscious for always and eternity.

This was, nearly, one of those.

I’m not sure what stopped me, be it cosmic or supernatural, but it gave my brain just enough time to ask itself some rather important questions regarding this little tub treasure. Questions like:

“WHO WOULD LEAVE A CHEESY BISCUIT IN MY SHOWER?!”

And inquiries such as:

“AND WHY WERE YOU GOING TO EAT IT, MORON?!”

Seriously, was I so hungry that I would wantonly disobey all the integral conditioning and survival imprinting my parents bestowed upon me like the ever important, “Um, don’t eat that biscuit retard, you don’t know where it’s been or whose it is and also you found it in the shower.” in order to satisfy something so benign as a munchie?

That, I’m sorry to say, was pretty much my reality.

An early morning introspective psychological evaluation of a sad, hungry, naked man who almost ate a bar of soap.

OMG ITS BACK

This needs to be published.

This is going in the monologue section and I’m not even sorry.

(via pumpkinspicekitten)

and people say anime is shit.

(Source: piyox22, via pumpkinspicekitten)

dollyfarton:

ineedmasculism:

lundsdotter:

The strongest ‘pound for pound’ muscle is the uterus: it weighs around 2 pounds but during childbirth can exert a downward force of 400 Newtons, which is one hundred times as strong as gravity and equivalent to the power in a fully extended modern longbow. 

I need masculism because I am afraid.

you should be

(via pumpkinspicekitten)

(Source: jtotheizzoe, via kilodelta)

whiskerpillar:

Me:

image

You:

image

(via the-tipsy-danger)

standupcomedyblog:

John Mulaney | The Salt & Pepper Diner

(Source: timetoputonashow, via rocketwarrior)

worldsweirdesttransgirl:

howlsmoving-asshole:

howllor:

oh my godddddd there is a new swedish reality tv show where they are tracking down internet trolls and confronting them about the death threats they’ve sent to people, since it’s actually illegal.

watching them try to explain how it’s not them is the best entertainment i’ve ever seen.

this episode ended with them fining him 5000 SEK to be paid to the victim!

guess what America should do

Is it available in english?  

(via pumpkinspicekitten)

grave-at-trenzalore:

followingthedeer:

sainthannah:

heatherbat:

stunningpicture:

‘Cause people seem to only post the 20-something Audrey Hepburn.

Audrey Hepburn was the granddaughter of a baron, the daughter of a nazi sympathizer, spent her teens doing ballet to secretly raise money for the dutch resistance against the nazis, and spent her post-film career as a goodwill ambassador of UNICEF, winning the presidential medal of freedom for her efforts.
…and history remembers her as pretty.

AND HISTORY REMEMBERS HER AS PRETTY

note

this is the first time I have ever seen a picture of her older than 20 and I think that’s scary

grave-at-trenzalore:

followingthedeer:

sainthannah:

heatherbat:

stunningpicture:

‘Cause people seem to only post the 20-something Audrey Hepburn.

Audrey Hepburn was the granddaughter of a baron, the daughter of a nazi sympathizer, spent her teens doing ballet to secretly raise money for the dutch resistance against the nazis, and spent her post-film career as a goodwill ambassador of UNICEF, winning the presidential medal of freedom for her efforts.

…and history remembers her as pretty.

AND HISTORY REMEMBERS HER AS PRETTY

note

this is the first time I have ever seen a picture of her older than 20 and I think that’s scary

(via pumpkinspicekitten)

regularpeanut:

"i can’t imagine myself with someone of the same gender" is the stupidest argument against gay marriage like

gay????marriage????isnt?????mandatory???

(via pumpkinspicekitten)

tiger03lily:

wrapyourlipsaroundmyname:

badgalfaashion:

brainy-beauty:

inmytwistedfairytale:

HE HANDED THAT SHIT TO HIMMMMM

Farrakhan does not fear man. Amen.

DANM!!

I think this make the 10th time ive reblogged this 

amazing

(Source: cagedlions, via pumpkinspicekitten)

sharkchunks:

fennecwolfox:

oeste:

misterhippity:

I tried a 2-D printer once, and the paper jammed.
So now I just painstakingly re-create my paper copies by hand, like a medieval monk.

i tried using paper, but the edges crumpled
so now i just chisel my commandments into stone, like old testament god

I tried using stone, but it cracked and broke.
Now I just scream everything at passersby, hoping they’ll remember what I said so I can ask them about it when I need it.

I tried shouting things at passersby but they ignored me.
Now I emit allohormones in a gypsobelum that bonds selectively with the recipient’s hemolymph to reconfigure their bursa copulax into a copulatory canal. I can only say one thing, “I want to mate with you,” but really, what else ever needs to be said?

sharkchunks:

fennecwolfox:

oeste:

misterhippity:

I tried a 2-D printer once, and the paper jammed.

So now I just painstakingly re-create my paper copies by hand, like a medieval monk.

i tried using paper, but the edges crumpled

so now i just chisel my commandments into stone, like old testament god

I tried using stone, but it cracked and broke.

Now I just scream everything at passersby, hoping they’ll remember what I said so I can ask them about it when I need it.

I tried shouting things at passersby but they ignored me.

Now I emit allohormones in a gypsobelum that bonds selectively with the recipient’s hemolymph to reconfigure their bursa copulax into a copulatory canal. I can only say one thing, “I want to mate with you,” but really, what else ever needs to be said?

(via pumpkinspicekitten)

wildsoulchiild:

fanofallshippers:

icequeen102990:

glampora:

heytheresuckyq:

findinglady:

PLEASE PASS THIS ON! 
I want to make sure every one knows about this and what it can do to your pets 
this is what has happened to my sisters cat after she wore a hartz flea and tick collar and now has a burn like wound on her neck. please pass this on and do not buy hartz’s products! they use poison in their products pets have died because of this!!
http://www.hartzvictims.org/

Yes this is my cat she is doing fine at the moment but I’m so sorry for the people who’s pets are not so lucky

oh my god
PLEASE REBLOG THIS PEOPLE
save pets!

Hartz is the worse EVER! my aunt used it and it ended up killing two of her cats. only one survived but she had the worse skin condition. NEVER USE HARTZ

BETTER REBLOG THISS!!!

Guys this is an actual issue. We had Hartz collars for my dog and he kept having seizures. one seizure he had on the stairs and fell backwards down the stairs, and he also stop breathing from these seizures. When I found out about Hartz causing this I took it off my dog and he hasn’t had a seizure since. And he used to have one at least every few months. DON’T USE HARTZ.

wildsoulchiild:

fanofallshippers:

icequeen102990:

glampora:

heytheresuckyq:

findinglady:

PLEASE PASS THIS ON! 

I want to make sure every one knows about this and what it can do to your pets 

this is what has happened to my sisters cat after she wore a hartz flea and tick collar and now has a burn like wound on her neck. please pass this on and do not buy hartz’s products! they use poison in their products pets have died because of this!!

http://www.hartzvictims.org/

Yes this is my cat she is doing fine at the moment but I’m so sorry for the people who’s pets are not so lucky

oh my god

PLEASE REBLOG THIS PEOPLE

save pets!

Hartz is the worse EVER! my aunt used it and it ended up killing two of her cats. only one survived but she had the worse skin condition. NEVER USE HARTZ

BETTER REBLOG THISS!!!

Guys this is an actual issue. We had Hartz collars for my dog and he kept having seizures. one seizure he had on the stairs and fell backwards down the stairs, and he also stop breathing from these seizures. When I found out about Hartz causing this I took it off my dog and he hasn’t had a seizure since. And he used to have one at least every few months. DON’T USE HARTZ.

(via pumpkinspicekitten)